| Monday, August 28, 2006 |
| Letting go |
There are two little boys around Cam's age in our neighborhood now. That's a good thing and a bad thing. He is very much an only child...he's always been content to wander around the yards, talking to himself and playing. Until now. Raymond lives across the street. I still don't know the other little boy's name-his folks just moved in this past weekend. Anyway, the past few weeks Cam and Ray have been playing up a storm between our house and his. Now this new kid has moved in the neighborhood, and he likes to play up at the park.
In all honesty, the park is all of a block away; it's well within shouting distance, though there is no line-of-sight. The first time he asked to go by himself I was aghast. What?! Alone?!! To the PARK?!?! My first instinct was something like, "KIDNAPPED!! He'll be kidnapped and I'll never see him again. Say NO! No, wait; say HELL no!" For those of you that haven't followed my blogs in the past, I suffer from "worst-case scenario" thinking. It's funny...after the fact. But in all seriousness...he's 7. He'll be with 2 other boys. He'll be fine. Right? ...sigh...
When my sisters and I were kids (not that we had a normal childhood-let me make that disclaimer right up front), we were not allowed out of sight of the house. Period. It wasn't until middle school that I was considered responsible enough to walk my younger sisters to the local elementary school (all on back roads and a half mile from the house). We rode bikes up and down our block. Yes, the block-not the street. One block. Of course, once I turned 16 I also wasn't allowed to drive if it was raining. Or really if it looked like it might rain. Or if my Mom thought it might rain...at all...in the near future. Do you see the line I'm trying to walk here? It's much thinner than it looked when I was the kid.
There's been talk on the Mommy group about being dropped off at the mall at age 10...I honestly can't comprehend that. I remember going to a sleep over in middle school and her Mom took us to the mall...she didn't LEAVE the mall, though. I'm pretty sure she hovered nearby the whole time. I remember going to dinner at The Olive Garden with Jen Geer...we were in college. I am pretty sure now that it was the first time I ate somewhere that was NOT fast food without an "adult" present. How sheltered was I? Cripes.
So as I type this, my child is a block away from me. Out of my sight, out of my reach, and on his own...at least for a little while. I'm reminded of Val's post about Jacelyn's first day of pre-K...I want to know what he's doing, who he's talking to, and what they're discussing. Not necessarily because I'm worried he'll be kidnapped (well, maybe a little) but because I want to know that I've given him the skills to cope, interact, and make good decisions. Like not getting in the car with some guy that offers candy or a puppy. ...sigh...
The Mommy group has also been talking about when it's appropriate to give a child a cell phone. The general consensus is that the child has to be old enough to appreciate that it's not a toy, he has to have decent phone manners (I know some adults that would flunk that test), and be in situations that he does not have access to an adult with a phone. I'm ready for Cam to have a cell phone now...in fact, next time he wants to go to the park I may give him mine. Well..except that we don't have a house phone and I don't know how I could call him every 15 minutes to make sure he's (not been kidnapped) ok and that nobody's picking on him and that he hasn't fallen off his bike and scraped his knee... Gah. This is harder than I expected it to be! What on Earth am I going to do when he goes to college?! |
posted by Jen @ 5:40 PM  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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I was allowed to ride my bike to the top of the hill, 4 houses down. That was the extent of my world until 7th grade. (But your current neighborhood is way nicer than the one I grew up in.) I still wasn't allowed to cross a major thoroughfare unless I was walking home from school. All of my friends lived on the other side of said strees and I was rarely able to go hang with them. (Mostly Bible studies, so you know where the wild hedonism started!)
But I did just fine when I got to college. I only asked to come home once. :)
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Oh, and we have a local water park that made the news this summer b/c idiot child breeders were using it in place of a babysitter. Kids as young as 8 were dropped off first thing in the morning and allowed to run wild & free until the parents picked them up after work.
I'd never do this! (I'd pawn them off on grandma like any good parent - hee hee!) Hardly seems fair, eh?
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You must be kidding!! Just dropping off the kids at a waterpark. I guess it's cheaper than day care, but cripes!
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I was allowed to ride my bike up to the park (3 blocks away) at age 8. no major roads, seculuded neighbor hood, but still makes me look at what I am going to let nat do...
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Let's see, way back when I was a girl (which is a few years further back than I care to admit) I had the run of pretty much the entire neighborhood. But I grew up off of Creighton Rd in P'cola, in the Woodcliff subdivision and that was like a really good neighborhood back then for middle class folks. I also ran the woods that surrounded the neighborhood along the sides and back. My mother wouldn't see us from about 8 a.m. until around lunch in the summer and then after that closer to dark thirty. I also rode my bike to the Gull Point Community Center that was on the opposite side of Creighton. And to the Little General (no Circle K). Hell when I was a kid there were actual bus stops where kids came from all over to wait for the school bus, not this picking them up in front of the house baloney. But ask me if I'd feel secure to do that with my kids and it'd be, no. When Krista was around Jared's age I'd let her go to a friend's house down the road, but I'd watch her walk there and she'd call and I'd watch her walk back. We haven't had the issue with the boys yet. Probably because they are so close in age so they have a constant playmate. But I do know it's coming. Scares the hell out of me even living in East Milton and in a relatively nice area. The road I live on needs speed bumps because I swear when my kids finally beg me to let them go to a friends and IF (please Goddess no) anyone was stupid enough to strike my child with their car I would go to prison for a very long time.
As for the cell phone, I'm really liking those ones Disney advertises. I could see getting one of those for the boys if they decided to leave the yard LOL!
But dang girl, your mom was WAAAYYY overprotective! Gee, the things I could tell you that you probably missed *snort*!
D2
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I was allowed to ride my bike to the top of the hill, 4 houses down. That was the extent of my world until 7th grade. (But your current neighborhood is way nicer than the one I grew up in.) I still wasn't allowed to cross a major thoroughfare unless I was walking home from school. All of my friends lived on the other side of said strees and I was rarely able to go hang with them. (Mostly Bible studies, so you know where the wild hedonism started!)
But I did just fine when I got to college. I only asked to come home once. :)