No promises!: The Circle of Life, with a band twist

Saturday, February 03, 2007

The Circle of Life, with a band twist

So, how bout that audition? Yeah. Here's the story of my day so far.

Got up at 8, showered, dressed, and decided against eating breakfast as I knew I'd be nervous later and didn't want to stress my tummy any more than I had to. I had a cup of coffee and headed out the door at 9. I'd heard 3 different times for my audition, ranging from 10:40 to 11:10, so I figured I'd be safe and get there before 10. I got there and parked, and finally found the only unlocked entrance...I made my way to the stage door to the auditorium and grabbed my paperwork and found a practice room to monopolize.

I filled out the paperwork, listing the 3 people I'd chosen to write me a letter of recommendation, and that I got a 28 on my ACT...then I put underneath that in parentheses that I got that score 15 years ago...ahem). I warmed up my horn, and attempted to warm up my fingers for the next 30 minutes or so. I found a great reed - none of the ones I'd marked to use today were playing worth a damn, so I found one that would. I left the practice room at 10:35, and was lurking around the door to the stage within minutes. Rick Glaze comes out and says, "The people before you didn't show up, so are you ready?" EEP!

I get on stage and get set up...Mr. Glaze asks me if I'd rather stand or sit (SIT!! I hate to play standing - I always feel like I'm going to drop my horn), and that question always makes me nervous. I mean, I KNOW professionals don't play concertos on stage sitting down, but still...I mean, I'm nervous enough already, don't make me do this standing up!!! In the audience there's Dr. Lauderdale (flute) (oh, and her son is in my band class...no pressure), Kyle Marero (department chair), the vocal professor whose name I cannot remember, and a gentleman that I actually don't know. Small crowd. Dr. Lauderdale is looking at me like I have a booger hanging out of my nose...she knows me, but can't remember why. Mr. Glaze asks about my degree...I elaborate that I finished it up a year ago, but started right out of high school. I've been teaching at Pine Forest (Dr. Lauderdale's light bulb lit up at this) and such since. Dr. Lauderdale says, "That's why I couldn't recognize you - you've cut your hair!" I smiled and agreed...my Southern upbringing was present in force with all the "yes, ma'am" and "no, sirs" and such. The other professors thought I looked familiar, and so I threw out that I also work at Dollarhides. It just so happens that Dollarhide's was involved in their new status as an "All Steinway School," so I'm really, really hoping that gets me a few brownie points.

I played a few notes to get used to the acoustics (which were amazing), and then set out with my technical piece. I prepared the first two etudes from the (original) Rose book, for those of you keeping score (which would probably be just TX Jen and SAM). #2 is straight 16th notes in 3/8, in a minor. Not exactly the most challenging, but hey, I had a week. I practiced at school a lot this past week, and the kids thought it was the most amazing thing they'd ever heard, so at least SOMEONE appreciated it. I've worked it up to 180 bpm, but didn't dare try that on stage. I ended up closer to 160, but got nearly every single note out clearly...I put this one in the plus column. I played the lyrical piece...#1...4/4 in C Major. Has some trills, turns, and such in it, and was probably too simple. Again, I could work it up in a week, so there ya go. That went well, too. Another plus.

Rick asks, "Could you play us some scales?" Eep! "Sure!" "How about your F...concert Eb?" Pff...cake. I sailed through 3 octaves plus the arpeggio with a minor mistake in the middle. Another plus! "How about your B scale?" B major (concert A) just happens to be my least favorite scale - ever. There are no minor scales that can compare to my loathing to this scale. So. Two octaves, and more mistakes than I'd care to mention later, I was done. Definitely a minus. On a freakin SCALE. Nice one, Jen.

"So how long ago was your last theory class?" Um...yikes! "Twelve years...same for ear training." Then I find out that I need to take a theory placement test. What the everliving fuck? Theory placement? I have an AA, I don't have to retake my first four theory classes EVER, thanks very much. Dr. Lauderdale kindly points this out, and so they say, "Well, it's been a while, why don't we give her the final from Theory IV?" I fell into complete panic at this point - I do believe today is the closest I've come to a panic attack in my life.

I pack up and leave the stage to find a crowd of some 8 people and their entourages (parents, sisters, boyfriends, etc.) outside the door. Everyone heard my spectacular mistreatment of the B Major scale, too. ...sigh... Dr. Lauderdale meets me in the hallway and says, "The final for Theory IV was a take-home test, so I can almost guarantee this will be too difficult." Greeeaaaat. I suck it up and go in to take this test.

It was horrible. I mean, horrible. It's been 12 years since theory...I haven't brain dumped everything I ever learned about theory, but I only retained the stuff you actually USE. I looked at the first page (oh yeah, it was FIVE PAGES LONG) and there were four grand staves with various numbers and lines underneath. No directions. Was I supposed to analyze this? Fill in tenor and alto parts? Were those two lines actually the soprano and bass? The hell? OK, calm down, look at the second page. More of the same. The third page was matching...should be simple, right? Right. Two lines of music, and about 7 terms/phrases. Match each phrase up to whichever line of music best displays each term/phrase. Two will not have an example on the page. I could actually define two of the terms in my head, but it didn't help. I was completely freaked out by this point. The rest of the test was no better. The person in the room proctoring the test was like, "I just took that class and that exam - I got an 80. I can't do it now, I don't know how they expect YOU to do it now." Well, had I not been about to CRY, this might have made me feel better. She assured me that this was just for placement (great) and that it had no bearing on admittance to the music department or the scholarship audition. I just turned it in and left...horrified.

So. This started out an ok experience and ended up an exercise in humiliation. How was your day? Heh. As for the title of the blog, I just found it funny that earlier in the week I tried out all the kids in the band for seats...including Dr. Lauderdale's son. Maybe I should have excused myself or something... Anyway, as for the rest of the day, I'll probably go have a good healthy cry in the shower and then go to a family reunion dinner. At a buffet place. ...sigh... My weigh-in on Monday had better not suffer because of this crappy day!

Honestly, though...I'm not suicidal (Resa, I didn't drive off an overpass or anything, LOL) or horribly depressed...just had a really crappy audition. It's been ages since I've even HAD to audition, much less botched one so magnificently. I did get my acceptance letter from UWF yesterday, so whether I'm a music major or just majoring in registration, I'm going to school in the fall. I'm gonna go read my mail and go take a nice hot bath...see y'all later!

posted by Jen @ 1:01 PM

2 Comments:

At 8:41 PM, Anonymous said…

Oh, I'm sure it wasn't THAT bad! I bet I couldn't take a Theory IV exam either. I'm doing good just being able to teach dominants & secondary dominants to my students, let alone defining words. I can't even remember which theory words I learned in IV...

I only know what color the Rose book is, not necessarily what's inside it. I avoid clarinet like the plague (sorry!) because I don't do the transposition thing. We have a very nice wooden Buffet sitting in our closet that S.A.M.'s sister gave us, just sitting there in the really cool case that Clark found in the parts room and I have yet to reupholster it. My nice clarinet is bathing in old case funk. Maybe that's what I'll do tomorrow.

The Dollarhide's thing should definitely get you some brownie points! I read that online at PNJ. Way to go, Bill!! :)
At 11:53 AM, Dawn Contemplates Life said…

you are your harshest critic. I bet you did far better than you believe!

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