No promises!: I declare a do-over

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I declare a do-over

As I've said a few times already, I've been busy lately. Unfortunately, as I got busier, I started getting lax with my diet. I've pretty much been off the wagon since just before Resa got in the country (so don't blame yourself, Resa, it's not your fault). I haven't been eating the way I did before I started WW, because really...who could? Anyway, I've gained 5 pounds since then. Five, big ugly pounds. My clothes still fit, and nobody's said anything, but I can feel it.

Fifty pounds ago, the one thing I despised more than my weight was the way I felt. I was hungry, so I'd eat...usually something terribly unhealthy, and usually more than once a day. I know people that would say, "No, I can't meet you at McDonalds...I had a burger and fries for lunch." Well, have chicken! "No, I think I'll stay home and have a salad or something." Wha? That was just beyond me. I would eat something awful, and once I was done I'd feel gross, guilty, and fatter than before. I've caught that same greasy, gross, fat feeling creeping in within the past few days, and made the decision this morning to cut that crap out.

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and couldn't fall back to sleep. My brain was racing...what am I going to have for breakfast? What's for lunch? How about dinner? It might be a late night, so I'll need to stop somewhere.... That's when I realized I was slowly but surely becoming completely out of control food-wise again. "Hello, my name is Jen, and I'm addicted to eating." I'm sure there's a 12 step out there for me...lol. I decided around 4:45 AM this very morning that I was going to get back on the wagon wholeheartedly beginning today.

I've made that decision before...at least twice in the past week, actually. I'm announcing it here in the hopes that it will help me stay on the straight and narrow in the "detox" period that's so dangerous. Once I get past a week or so, it will be habit again and I won't have to even think about it. But the first few days are always the hardest, and I need all the help I can get.

I'm setting a mini-goal for myself. I plan (I typed 'hope' first, the deleted it...positive thinking and all that crap, right?) to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. That's very much do-able...that gives me 12 weeks. (Holy crap, 12 weeks till Christmas?!) I'm not making any plans beyond that right now. Wish me luck, and help keep me honest. :)

posted by Jen @ 11:31 AM

2 Comments:

At 2:50 PM, Anonymous said…

You can do it!!! Now if I could *deep sigh* I still got those shorts for you. If I don't see you before the bash I'll bring them then. That and the gift M got for you...

D2
At 9:19 PM, Anonymous said…

You go girl!! I need to drop 20 but my timeline is my 30th b'day in May. If I get to it earlier, all the better for me. Oh, and I fell off the wagon at the Fair today. There's a blog about that coming this weekend.

I migrated my blog over to the beta version and now I can't comment as myself.

-TX Jen

Contributors